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The Nice Guy/Transcript
(Opens showing a planet with a store, surrounded by three large, boiling suns. Zoom in on Wander, dehydrating and sweating, all tired out. Widen to show Sylvia in this state as well. A wider shot shows they are heading to the store. Close-up on Sylvia) Sylvia: Ugh. Thank grop, they have an orbble pump. I thought we were gonna have to hoof it forever. (Cut to a machine that looks very much like a gas pump as Wander and Sylvia come up to it. Behind it is the store, Blarpee's. Wander gets off and wipes some sweat away) Wander: Phew. (He walks over to the machine, close-up of a stand as Wander puts his orbble bottle in it) Sylvia: (offscreen) Y'all teed up? (Widen to frame them both) Wander: Produce the juice! (Sylvia gives a thumbs up, extreme close-up of a lever as she pulls it. Cut to a gauge as its needle works toward the green zone, and pan upwards to an area where a spark of electricity is being created. Pan to a tube and follow it as bubbles work its way past various machinery, ending in a big chamber over the dispensing spout. Cut to a close-up of each space traveler as they watch, zooming in slowly. Cut to the dispenser as it rattles, then finally dies down. A small drop of orbble juice comes out and falls into the bottle, a fall whistle is heard, followed by a slam as it hits the bottom of the bottle. Widen to frame the entire machine) Sylvia: This might take a while. (She leans up against the machine, while Wander sits down. Brief overview of the blazing, hot landscape, back on Sylvia as she begins to sweat again) Sylvia: Ugh. Hey, buddy, could you run in and grab me a drink? I could use a Thunder Blazz right about now. (Cut to Wander, who stands up) Wander: You got it! One Thunder Blazz coming right up! (bows while taking his hat off) Sylvia, I am honored you have chosen me to requisition this refreshment for you, I will not let you down! (He walks off. Full shot of the landscape as Wander walks toward Blarpee's, tripping briefly) (Cut to the inside of Blarpee's just from the door, zooming in slowly as Wander approaches. Wander leans against the door and gasps; point of view shot from Wander at a Thunder Blazz stand, an elephant-camel hybrid is scooping the bottles into his cart one by one. Widen to frame Wander) Wander: (whispering) He's taking all the Thunder Blazz! (He is interrupted by a fake cough, widen as he turns to see a man in front of him Cut to just behind the man's shoulder at Wander, who opens the door as its alarm sounds) Wander: Ah! Sorry, after you. (The episode's title appears inside the door, freeze-frame. Side view, the man tips his hat and walks in. Pull out to show that he has a rather long body, resembling that of a centipede) Wander: Never hurts to help. (A brief pause, and Wander notices the man's rather long, centipede-like body. Zoom in on him as he whimpers in fear and looks in, cut to the Thunder Blazz stand as the alien gets one more bottle and leaves. Only one bottle is left; zoom in one it. Cut back to Wander) Wander: Phew! (This does not last long, his jaw drops as he looks into the store and yelps, cut to the Thunder Blazz stand as the man gets the last bottle and pays the cashier with a coin. Back to Wander, staring dumbfounded, widen to frame the man as he tips his hat and leaves) Wander: (weakly) Never hurts to help! (Widen to frame the man's body as it makes its way offscreen while Wander looks on sadly. He instantly zips into the store) (Cut to the stand, Wander runs up to it, whimpering in fear) '' '''Wander:' No more Thunder Blazz... (close-up, he scratches his head) That's fine! I'll get Sylvia something just as good. Yeah! (looks up at the sign, reading off its words) It just needs to be fizzy, refreshing, and totally blorped! Got it! (He walks off. Cut to an isle where Wander opens one of the glass doors and looks inside at the bottles. Cut to inside the door from an empty spot as Wander looks around, point of view shot as he takes a green bottle that reads:) Wander: "Fizzy, but not refreshing or totally blorped". (Puts it back, grabs a blue bottle that says:) "Refreshing, but not fizzy, and only somewhat blorped". (Puts that back, grabs a pink bottle reading:) "Totally blorped, and fuzzy and refracting"? (Cut to Wander on the end of this, he holds the bottle up. The bottom reflects a rainbow spectrum into his eyes, and he puts it back. He grabs out a light teal bottle) Wander: "Flatulent, refruzzled, and terminally blarped"... (Puts it back, grabs a vermilion bottle) "Fraudulent, reflarzled, and eternally blorked"... (Puts it back, grabs a purple bottle and moans with worry) "Frembulous, regargled, and essentially zonked"... (Puts it back, grabs a neon yellow bottle) "Mid-grade industrial rocket fuel supplement, not for consumption"?! (Close-up of the bottle on the end of this, he turns it around showing a poison symbol. Widen as he puts the bottle back and closes the door, then bangs a fist against it. Cut to him from the front as he whines) Wander: Bottles, bottles, everywhere, but no Thunder Blazz to drink!! (He leans against the ground and hyperventilates, taking his hat off to do so in it. He calms down, and puts his hat back on. He scratches his chin, then runs off) (Cut to the counter, an elderly alien woman is paying for something. Wander walks up behind her, and she hands a coin to the cashier. She strives away, starting to trip on a lump in the mat in front of the counter before Wander stops her) Wander: Oops, watch out for that mat! Old lady: Oh, why, thank you. (exits) (Wander suddenly gets a shocked expression on his face, and rushes offscreen. We see some light come up from the floor as the door opens and its alarm sounds) Old lady: (offscreen) Oh, why, thank you. Wander: (offscreen) Never hurts to help. (Close-up of the cashier as Wander walks up. Cut to Wander, fingers tapping eagerly on the counter while waiting for an answer. Shift back and forth between Wander and the cashier twice, silence) Cashier: (deadpan monotone) Yeah? (Pause, Wander inhales silently) Wander: (talking fast) Excuse me, fine sir, but I came in here looking for a bottle of Thunder Blazz for my heat-stricken friend out there, but then, I held the door for a very long man while another man took all but the last bottle which was taken by the long man, then I tried to find a replacement but couldn't, can you please use your considerable expertise to help me find a similar beverage, that might be perfect for my parched pal? Cashier: I don't know, man. Fountain drinks? (Pan over to a drink stand shining at the end of an isle, zooming in slowly. Shift back to Wander and the cashier) Wander: Yes! (facepalms) Of course! (to the cashier) You are...so...good...at your job. (zips off) (Close-up of a trio of stacked paper cups, Wander picks one of them. Brief shot of him at the machine as he looks at it, close-up of the machine's flavors, panning across as Wander names them) Wander: (offscreen) Fizzy Fruit Punch, Refreshing Raspberry, Totally Blorped Blorpberry! (zoom out, framing him) Yes! (He puts the cup under the raspberry spout, dispensing some into it. He abruptly stops, then calls out) Wander: Is it okay if I mix some of these together – (Cut to the cashier on the other end, with him barely in the distance, the next three lines are quieter and echoing) or is that frowned upon in this fine establishment? (Cut to just behind Wander's shoulder) Cashier: Yeah, man, it's fine. (Back to the cashier) Wander: Are you sure?! Don't make a special exception for me! (Normal volume resumes at this point) Cashier: Yes! Everybody does it, okay? (Back on Wander, who smiles happily. Cut to just behind the dispensers as Wander works away; raspberry, fruit punch, fruit punch, blorpberry, fruit punch, blorpberry, raspberry, fruit punch, raspberry, then pours some out; fruit punch, blorpberry, raspberry, fruit punch, fruit punch, blorpberry, fruit punch, blorpberry, raspberry, fruit punch, raspberry, fruit punch, blorpberry. Cut to a close-up of the cashier as he lowers a comic and glares as Wander continues dispensing. Wide shot as he goes back to reading, pan over to Wander, now holding his own drink for Sylvia) Wander: Perfect! That's a dine approximation of Thunder Blazz if I do say so myself! (He strives off, only to stop and stare in shock. Pull out to show a long line of customers, front on view as he peeks out from the back and frowns. Cut to a long shot of the line, dissolving from one shortened version to the next. Cut to the cashier as a teenage boy alien pays for something and leaves, walking over the lump on the mat) Wander: Careful of the ma – ah, you got it. Nice work! (He puts the drink on the counter, cut to behind the casher's shoulder) Wander: One fountain beverage reminiscent of Thunder Blazz, please. Cashier: $1.99. (Wander ducks out of view, then stands up showing one of his shoes. He tips it over, and a bunch of pennies fall out. He examines it, then ducks down to take off his other shoe. He brings that into view and turns it upside down, and a larger amount of pennies start falling out. Brief shot of the cashier as he groans, then the camera shows a huge mountain of pennies as Wander taps his shoe letting a few more spill out. The cashier facepalms in close-up, and Wander tips the last penny out. Widen as he pushes the penny pile towards the cashier, silence. The cashier takes one penny from the top of the pile and puts it down. Brief shot of a "Back in 5 minutes" sign, then cut back to the counter as the cashier finishes stacking all the pennies) Cashier: You're a penny short. (Cut to Wander, zooming in slowly as his eyes dilate and turn blue, and he whimpers. Back to the cashier) Cashier: I-it's okay man, just take one from the dish. (On the end of this, cut to Wander and zoom out slowly as he points at a small dish while Wander looks at it. Cut to the dish, it has the writing "1¢" and a few pennies are in it. Wander reaches his hand into view, but instantly grabs it away) Wander: (offscreen) No, I can't. (back to him) What if somebody else needs those coins more than me – (wide shot of the counter, he does various gestures based on his words) Like a mother buying medicine for a baby, or...a grandmother buying a cane she needs to walk, or...a man buying a boat, so he can take the boat to an island, to rescue his lost love? (he leans up over the counter) What if they need those pennies?! (Pause) Cashier: We don't...sell any of those things. Wander: (gasps) I'll be right back. (strives off) (Cut to an area of the store as Wander strives by, body bent over and eyes scanning the ground. Cut to over an isle as Wander goes offscreen, then cut to the drink machine as Wander peaks out from behind an isle, then from the side of the machine, and walks off. Cut to over the same isle from before as Wander walks across the shelf, and shift back to the counter as Wander jumps into view. He gets to the floor and narrows his eyes while looking at the lumpy rug, then he pulls up part of it and smiles. In close-up, he takes a penny out from under the rug. He starts to head for the counter when he suddenly stops) Wander: DID ANYBODY LOSE A PENNY?! (Cut to a series of customers one by one as they stare, then back to Wander. Pause, he starts to head toward the counter and present the penny when suddenly a sproutling alien zips up, he speaks in a lisp) Sproutling: Hey, you found my penny! Thanks! (Wander hands the penny to him, he runs out of the store) Yay, penny! (Wander groans in disgust, then motions to the cashier before striving off once more in search of another penny. Cut to him as the camera follows, he spots a penny and smiles, then picks it up. He suddenly stops, in close-up, he looks at the penny and squeezes his eyes shut) Wander: Did anyone else? (A claw from offscreen grabs the penny as Wander opens his eyes, he slumps forward in disgrace, and slowly walks down the isle. He suddenly smiles, and rushes up to a penny and dances around it, before picking it up. Brief close-up of him as he smiles, then suddenly looks over at the window. Cut to Sylvia outside, she wipes some sweat off her head. Zoom out framing Wander, close-up of him as he looks down at the penny) Wander: (whispering) Did any of the rest of you fine folks lose a penny? (He cringes, and there is silence. Excitedly, he starts to zoom ahead, but bumps into a male alien in front of him. Zoom out, he is once again in a long line of customers. Back on Wander) Wander: Oh-ho, sorry, sorry. (Widen to show the line as it dissolves from one shorter version to the next, at last Wander is in front) Wander: One Thunder Blazz-esque drink, ple – (He stops, noticing a can) Cashier: You still want it or what? (Close-up of the can, it has a sad alien on it, along with the saying "Help me only a penny a day". Cut to Wander as he whimpers and looks back and forth at his pile of pennies and the can, then reaches his arm out) Wander: Never...hurts... (drops penny in) to help! (Pause, he looks over at his pennies, then instantly stuffs them into the can. He hangs his head on the counter and groans sadly) Cashier: Look man, I'm going on break, so you take some time to figure out...all this. (walks off) (Close-up on Wander, he plays with the straw on the drink for a bit. He suddenly hears the door open and its alarm sound, pan over to an alien cyclops man at the door. Close-up as his eye flicks back and forth, and cut from one grocery to another as he grabs it: packet of chili pepper magnets, jar of gel-e, and a garden hose. He zips up to Wander) Cyclops: (frantically, talking fast) Quickly! Cashier! I need to purchase this purple gel-e, this length of hose, and these chili pepper refrigerator magnets! (extreme close-up of his face) It's an emergency!! Wander: I-I'm sorry, sir, I'm not actually – Cyclops: WHAT PART OF EMERGENCY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!! (Cut to Wander, cutting closer on each word) I NEED YOUR HELP!!! (Brief pause, the scene goes to letterbox view as Wander ominously tips his hat brim) Wander: (deep voice) Let's do this. (Scene goes back to normal view; Wander jumps high into the air and lands behind the counter. He gets a paper bag ready in close-up; cut to the scanner as he brings the gel-e jar across. "2.50" appears on the cash register's display screen; he scans the magnets, and the register says "7.25"; he scans the hose, and the register says "13.00". He slams the paper bag with groceries into view, and the cyclops hands him money. Cut to the register as Wander sorts the money into place, then widen to frame the entire counter) Wander: (holding two dollars) And here is your change. Cyclops: KEEP IT!!! (zooms out) Wander: Watch out for the mat! (the door alarm sounds as he exits, close-up as he looks at the dollars) Two dollars? That's – (gasps) That's blazz-buyin' money! It never hurts to help! (He stops and looks over. Widen to frame the cashier, back from his break) Wander: Oh, sorry, sorry. (He climbs over the counter, struggling to make it over a few tries before finally making it. Just as he takes the drink to pay for it, his jaw drops in shock as the camera zooms out; cut to a full side view, for the third time this episode, there is a rather long line. Close-up of Wander as he frowns dejectedly, then walks to the back of the line. The line gets shorter from one freeze-frame to the next, and Wander leans over and falls asleep. The moment he lifts his head, point of view shot showing the line is gone. Wander smiles, and walks over to the counter. He brings his hands into view to put the drink on the counter, only to realize he doesn't have it with him. Cut to a view of the counter and zoom out, revealing the drink is still on the floor away from them. In close-up, Wander rolls his eyes and shrugs wearily, then walks off. Cut to the drink as he walks over to it and picks it up. Pause) Wander: I know what's gonna happen: I'm gonna turn around, there's gonna be another huge line, and something's gonna happen, that keeps me from getting Sylvia, her Thunder Blazz-esque drink! (He squeezes his eyes shut and slowly turns his head. He opens one eye and smiles, widen to reveal there's no line. The animation shifts to slow motion, he skips happily to the counter) (Song: Here Comes Wander Now) Here comes Wander now (x2) Gonna buy his Thunder Blazz (x2) Here comes – (Needle scratch, Wander's foot hits the lump in the mat and he trips, releasing the drink from his grip) Wander: Oh, no! The mat! (The drink hits the ground, causing all the handmade Thunder Blazz to fly out and spill all over the floor. Cut to an overhead shot and zoom out, Wander is lying belly down across the lumpy mat. Cut to the cashier, normal speed resumes at this point) Cashier: You gonna help clean that up? (Pan down to Wander, he nods slowly) (Dissolve to a close-up of a janitorial bucket as a mop dips into it. Widen to reveal Wander as he sadly mops the Thunder Blazz-esque mess away. Close-up as he sighs, and he looks down. Overhead shot as he looks around at the dirty floor, and he continues mopping in close-up. Overhead shot of the store as Wander mops all over, dissolving from one freeze-frame to the next as the floor becomes shinier. Close-up of the Thunder Blazz stand as he mops behind it, he hears the rattling of a bottle. Cut to inside the crack between the stand and the wall as Wander sticks the mop inside and uses it to bring the mop over. Show him fully as Wander comes fully into view and stands up, holding what he found behind the stand. Close-up of him, he is holding...) Wander: Huh, a bottle of Thunder Blazz. (He tosses it over his shoulder. A short pause, and what he said blows a sudden surprise into his head as he lets the mop drop) Wander: A BOTTLE OF THUNDER BLAZZ!!! (Zipping off, he catches the bottle in mid-air and rolls over to the counter. Cut to behind the cashier's shoulder as Wander puts the bottle on the counter) Wander: (panting) Money, drink, now, please! Cashier: $1.99. (Wander holds up the two dollars he kept from earlier, just as he was about to hand them to the cashier, the door opens offscreen and its alarm sounds. Wander's mood changes, extreme close-up of him as his head turns around. Point of view shot at the door, a little alien girl stands there. Cut to Wander as the girl walks by behind him, and his eyes follow. Cut to the stand, the girl walks up to it, brief shot of her from one of the stands as her eyes begin to tear, back to Wander as he struggles to bring the money forward while still focusing on the girl, back to her as her mother walks up. The girl grabs onto her mother's feet and sobs while talking indistinctly) (Cut to Wander, who squeezes his eyes shut and pulls his hat brim over his face) Mother: (offscreen) Oh, honey, I know. (walking by in the background) You were gonna pay for it all by yourself. (They exit offscreen as the door alarm sounds, Wander peeks at this. Side view, he slams the money into the cashier's hand and grabs the bottle) Cashier: Finally. (as Wander leaves) You know, I kinda thought you were gonna rob this place. (Cut to outside the store as Wander angrily makes his way out, door alarm sounding. Pan over to the sad girl as her mother comforts her. Cut to behind the girl's shoulder as the bottle of Thunder Blazz slowly comes into view. She smiles, widen to frame Wander and her mother as she takes the bottle and hugs it) Mother: Oh, my. Are you sure? Wander: (tipping his hat brim) Never hurts to help. (Dissolve to the dispensing spout on the orbble pump, a drop comes out and slowly falls into the bottle. Cut to Sylvia, almost completely dehydrated and is sweating badly. Widen as Wander comes into view) Sylvia: Hey, buddy! How's it goin'? You were in there forever. (Cut to a rather sad Wander, pause) Wander: I FAILED YOU, SYLVIA! I'm just a big ol' Failure McFailureson! I tried so hard to get you a Thunder Blazz, but every time, I almost – (He stops as he hears a pair of footsteps. Cut to Sylvia as the girl and her mother from earlier walk up to her, the former holds out the bottle of Thunder Blazz Wander gave her) Sylvia: Um...thank you. (takes it) Mother: She thought you looked thirsty. Little Girl: Never hurts to help! (Cut to a close-up of Wander as he smiles happily. Back to Sylvia as the aliens exit, zoom out to frame Wander as he walks up to her) Sylvia: Hmm. Nice kid. Wander: Yeah. She sure is. (Sylvia takes the cap off the bottle, cut to a view of the sun as Sylvia comes into view, glugging down the Thunder Blazz) Feel the blazz (All right!) (Close-up of the bottle, its liquid decreasing as it goes into Sylvia's mouth. Widen to frame Wander as she finishes drinking) Thunder Blazz! (Pause) Sylvia: Oh, by the way, we have like, five more hours left on this thing. Wander: Really? Great! 'Cause I've got a mat to nail down! (Same overview of the landscape as before as Wander rushes back to Blarpee's, tripping briefly) Doodley doot da doot doot Category:Transcripts